> I stole Phoenix's money and thought it was funny
> It was absolutely funny.
> I had very strong feelings about Phoenix -- I was probably in love with him, but I wasn't admitting it to myself at this point.
> I still had that purpose from before, and I was still angry, but I wasn't so lonely.
> I was going to leave my friends in order to fulfill this purpose. I felt like I was betraying them, and like I didn't really want to go, but whatever it was I wanted, I wanted it so badly that I was not at all considering changing my mind.
> Even so I was EXTREMELY SAD in this moment. I was trying to distance myself and say goodbye, and Phoenix holding on was excruciatingly painful. Part of me wanted to tell the truth, but all of me thought it was pointless.
> I'm an even bigger faker than I thought!
> I really want to know what the heck I thought was important enough to hurt myself and these people I cared about like that.
> Oh no now I know I can never just stop talking to Phoenix...