[Crow has to watch it on the monitors. He has to take notes, and they have to sound objective.
It's the worst. As he watches and listens to Rean break, he can feel his own heart shutting down. He can't go on like this unless he really stops caring, so he's willing himself into a deadened state.
There's a horrible emptiness in him, when he comes in this time. But he still does it. He watches Rean struggle, and he gives the injection, and then he leaves before anything else can happen -- leaves the orderlies to check vitals with the device stuck to Rean's skin. And that's what he's going to do for awhile. He can't deal with it, so he's letting himself die inside, and spending as little time in Rean's presence as physically possible. He's not even giving the injections himself anymore, after that day. He just stands there near the door and watches it be done, and then leaves.]
no subject
It's the worst. As he watches and listens to Rean break, he can feel his own heart shutting down. He can't go on like this unless he really stops caring, so he's willing himself into a deadened state.
There's a horrible emptiness in him, when he comes in this time. But he still does it. He watches Rean struggle, and he gives the injection, and then he leaves before anything else can happen -- leaves the orderlies to check vitals with the device stuck to Rean's skin. And that's what he's going to do for awhile. He can't deal with it, so he's letting himself die inside, and spending as little time in Rean's presence as physically possible. He's not even giving the injections himself anymore, after that day. He just stands there near the door and watches it be done, and then leaves.]