[SO AFTER MANY ADVENTURES which reflect but aren't accurate to canon, Rean finally got ahold of Crow for reals. It took a betrayal, a death, a revival-with-amnesia and probably another near-death to do it but HE GOT HIM. And everything is FINE and OK at least for now, which is p great because these gays need time to gay. Or rather Crow needs time to figure out how to be a person again and Rean needs time to keep an eye on him in case he spontaneously combusts or something. After all that's happened, it feels more than a bit like they broke some laws of destiny to be living in a house of their own, with nothing more stressful on their plates than their feelings and Instructor Rean having to grade papers or whatever he's decided to do with his life after saving the country like 3 times.
To Crow especially, something feels wrong about it. You don't get that kind of outcome. He decided what he wanted to do, and he did it. He hurt people, because it's what he wanted. He acknowledged that, and he did his best to minimize the fallout, but he didn't regret his actions, and he didn't expect to ever go back to the carefree happiness he'd felt, fleetingly, at Thors. After all, even then, he'd been hurting the people he cared about behind their backs.
It was nice, that Rean never gave up on him. But it didn't really feel deserved. It feels less deserved to have cheated death, to have lost his identity and regained it. To throw away everything, only to see stubborn, impossible Rean Schwarzer hand it back to him without hesitation. What is he even doing here? It's been three months and it still feels like a simulation.
But Crow is Crow, so he's been laughing it off the whole time. Eating junk food, playing games, asking Rean every time he comes home if he had any lewd encounters that day... It's his normal behavior. But he's also been visibly tired, though that happens when you come within an inch of death twice. He wasn't in good shape when they got here, but his smile hasn't faltered the whole time.
He also hasn't addressed the elephant in the room: what the hell is their relationship now anyway? It's not like Crow doesn't know how he feels about Rean. It's Rean he's confused about. It doesn't feel at all likely that those feelings should be returned, and Rean hasn't come out and said they are, but the living situation is starting to feel like a marriage, and it's hard not to notice Rean's gradual invasion of Crow's personal space. At least, not from this end. But he kind of suspects Rean hasn't noticed himself doing it either. Sitting closer, brushing their fingers against eachother when passing the salt -- little things.
Honestly it's a little maddening. But Crow refuses to make the mental leap to the idea that there's something there, despite living in Rean's house, cooking him dinner every day, and the entire thing with having been physically yanked from the edge of oblivion and clung onto like some kind of teddy bear the day Rean brought him back. It's just... domestic bromance? Right. And Rean's thick as a board, so today like always when he comes home from work, Crow's in the kitchen putting the finishing touches on salad and seafood stew, and like always, his greeting is cheerful and cheeky and totally avoiding any of the actual things going through his head.]
Hey, Rean. You look tired. Didn't get down and dirty with the receptionist on your way out, did you?
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To Crow especially, something feels wrong about it. You don't get that kind of outcome. He decided what he wanted to do, and he did it. He hurt people, because it's what he wanted. He acknowledged that, and he did his best to minimize the fallout, but he didn't regret his actions, and he didn't expect to ever go back to the carefree happiness he'd felt, fleetingly, at Thors. After all, even then, he'd been hurting the people he cared about behind their backs.
It was nice, that Rean never gave up on him. But it didn't really feel deserved. It feels less deserved to have cheated death, to have lost his identity and regained it. To throw away everything, only to see stubborn, impossible Rean Schwarzer hand it back to him without hesitation. What is he even doing here? It's been three months and it still feels like a simulation.
But Crow is Crow, so he's been laughing it off the whole time. Eating junk food, playing games, asking Rean every time he comes home if he had any lewd encounters that day... It's his normal behavior. But he's also been visibly tired, though that happens when you come within an inch of death twice. He wasn't in good shape when they got here, but his smile hasn't faltered the whole time.
He also hasn't addressed the elephant in the room: what the hell is their relationship now anyway? It's not like Crow doesn't know how he feels about Rean. It's Rean he's confused about. It doesn't feel at all likely that those feelings should be returned, and Rean hasn't come out and said they are, but the living situation is starting to feel like a marriage, and it's hard not to notice Rean's gradual invasion of Crow's personal space. At least, not from this end. But he kind of suspects Rean hasn't noticed himself doing it either. Sitting closer, brushing their fingers against eachother when passing the salt -- little things.
Honestly it's a little maddening. But Crow refuses to make the mental leap to the idea that there's something there, despite living in Rean's house, cooking him dinner every day, and the entire thing with having been physically yanked from the edge of oblivion and clung onto like some kind of teddy bear the day Rean brought him back. It's just... domestic bromance? Right. And Rean's thick as a board, so today like always when he comes home from work, Crow's in the kitchen putting the finishing touches on salad and seafood stew, and like always, his greeting is cheerful and cheeky and totally avoiding any of the actual things going through his head.]
Hey, Rean. You look tired. Didn't get down and dirty with the receptionist on your way out, did you?