filetofish | PSLS BECAUSE GAY

Crow...

[Goddess no don't... Leave him like this?]

I'm sorry?

[What the fuck did he do how does he get Crow to come back he's panicking here.]

D-don't go.

I'm not going anywhere. I'm just... finishing the bandages.

[Right. Taking them off the fire and out of the water and hanging them to dry.]

[don'tleavehim]

Okay...

[Not okay.]

[Yes don't argue.]

You should sleep through as much withdrawal as you can, if you don't want to wean yourself off the stuff.

I...

[He doesn't think he can, it literally hurts too much. But he doesn't want to say anything else to drive Crow away so he curls up tighter, eyes just on him.]

I'll try.

[He can try to ignore the crawling under his skin if he just watches Crow, right?]

Good.

[He can feel Rean's eyes on him but he won't look back. He just keeps working -- on bandages, on making the place more livable. He hopes Rean will just pass out if ignored long enough.]

[Well cool eventually he'll stop watching Crow because he's biting back his whimpers of pain, biting back any noise or hyperventilation until he's too deep in hallucinations to stop himself from yanking his arms away from hugging himself and clawing desperately at his flesh with a frightened keening noise.

It's really awful, he needs to get them out from under his skin.]

[Crow hears the shuffling and turns around nust in time to see Rean start clawing himself. He drops the piece of wood in his hands, immediately dashing back over to grab Rean's arms.]

Oh for Aidios' sake! Stop it!

[You've already got one hand wrapped up don't make him do more!]

Get it out get it out get it out getitout

[He's frantically still trying to claw himself, struggling, just desperately out of his mind.]

Knock it off!

[God! Fine! Hes rolling Rean back up in the blanket. Hopefully that'll hold him long enough for Crow to get something to tie him up with.]

[He's sobbing kind of incoherently but that's probably familiar enough.]

[Yeah. It kinda is. Crow's gonna go pull out some rope from. Idk. His rpg inventory. He's also geabbing the case of drugs and coming back to more neatly tie Rean up, hands behind his back, and jab him with a small dose.]

Hold still.

[He doesn't even have the coherence to really register what Crow is giving him, and he's just going to struggle against the ropes holding him for another five minutes before it starts to kick in and he goes... Still. Quietly panting.

At least the pain and hallucinations are subsiding but the pleasure is, uh... Actually... Different at a dose like this.

Anyway his skin is flushed but he's not in pain anymore so that's good. It's just the way he's panting is shifting from pained exertion to something a little more, well, suggestive of illicit sorts of pleasure.]

[Crow's ignoring that. He's just gotta be cool til the bandages are dry and he can stitch up Rean's finger and all that.]

Better?

Mm.

[He's not really catching his breath, but the way this is torture is at least... Not as terrifying? Not as inherently terrifying. There's a lot still bad about it.]

Crow...

[He is... Having a hard time thinking, of what to say. Or rather, his mind's a mess and he's losing his filter but he has enough coherence, shreds of it, to know that not having a filter is bad right now when he knows what he currently wants (has wanted for a long time, maybe).]

Don't leave.

[Even if he says weird stuff stay...]

I need you to stay.

I'm right here.

[He's not leaving unless he has to, for now. It wouldn't be wise to leave Rean on his own for very long.]

You're... You're here. That's true.

[At least in the same room. That's better.]

It's hot.

You're fine.

[That's clearly a side effect. He reaches out, though, to feel Rean's forehead.]

[He's warm, obviously, his skin hot. He makes a noise that is... part gasp but also with a breathiness that is frankly lewd, leaning into Crow's touch, eyelashes fluttering closed.]

...Right, well.

[That's obvious. What to do about it though...]

Guess I should take a note.

[Are you making awful jokes right now wow.]

Ha... Ha. Don't... Stop.

[Don't stop touching him, he's so starved for touch.]

I definitely oughta stop.

[He is in fact taking his hand back.]

You're not yourself right now.

Please...

[He inhales sharply. Trying to focus.]

This is... Me, too. Right now I still feel like me. My mind isn't that clouded. I know who you are and that I love you and that you're a huge jerk.

At least... At least touch me. Please. You don't have to do anything, I know I'm... disgusting I just... Need to feel... Like I'm not so awful I can't even be touched.

You're not disgusting.

[That's the most important thing, here. Crow really really thinks touching Rean when he's like this is a bad idea, though. And yet he can't stand the idea of Rean feeling so bad about himself because of something Crow did to him. So he's cautiously going to pet his hair.]

I promise you no one could ever think you're awful.

[He's pathetically grateful just for this much, leaning his head into it, wanting so much more, feeling a little dizzy with... Everything. He's not in good shape but at least it doesn't hurt much. Crow petting his hair is the best thing he's felt ever.]

...

[He wants to believe Crow because Crow's saying it, but it's hard to... Believe because he can't fathom it at all. That he isn't gross when he obviously is.]

Prove it.

[He expects a rejection or excuse.]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject