[Please End] Crow Armbrust ([personal profile] filetofish) wrote2018-04-27 01:15 am

PSLS BECAUSE GAY

[no icons, many SPOILERS for trails of cold steel/sen no kiseki. there's also a lot of gross shit so watch your step.]
awakenerd: (31)

[personal profile] awakenerd 2018-09-21 11:44 pm (UTC)(link)
Something less... this. Less rape. At least like, reading material? Instructional videos? Some kind of pamphlet explaining the training regime so it isn't entirely baffling and horrifying. You could cut out the baffling entirely, maybe work in more horrifying, I guess, since that's your thing.

[Well his mouth seems up be working again just fine.]

[personal profile] awakenerd 2018-09-22 12:17 am (UTC)(link)
[He does struggle, definitely surprised by this man's strength as he pushes and kicks at him, trying to get away. Not even with hope that he'll make it, Judy instinctive fear and self preservation.]

Not really but maybe I'd know what you're even trying to accomplish here! Breaking someone's spirit, is that even useful?
awakenerd: (125)

[personal profile] awakenerd 2018-09-22 12:33 am (UTC)(link)
[He yanks on the cuffs. Every touch feels like it's crawling over his skin, he hasn't gotten over feeling like touch is horrible and frightening.]

So you what, make it so awful anyone is eager not to get punished?
awakenerd: (189)

[personal profile] awakenerd 2018-09-22 01:00 am (UTC)(link)
How long does that take?

[What a horrifying thing to look forward to. He doesn't want to end up okay with this. Not at all.]
awakenerd: (Grit)

[personal profile] awakenerd 2018-09-22 01:25 am (UTC)(link)
[Well that distracts him from the other stuff because he's screaming. Wednesday the fuck what the hell he's dying? Only he's not.

He feels like he is.]

Stop! Stop stop stop-!

[personal profile] awakenerd 2018-09-22 01:41 am (UTC)(link)
[He's barely listening, screaming as he's cut open. There may be no wound or blood but every part of him is convinced this is real, and it's awful.]

Please stop!

[personal profile] awakenerd 2018-09-22 06:30 am (UTC)(link)
[What's the alternative, torture? He hates this. Participate or be fucked over. He's pushing and breathless in his response, not defeated but resigned. He doesn't want this but getting tortured won't help any.]

Fine. What am I supposed to do?

[personal profile] awakenerd 2018-09-22 06:50 am (UTC)(link)
[He can't make himself act like he's eager. He's not broken and he's not a good liar like that. Even if he can agree to try it's only been a day. He's aware he's facing horrors if he doesn't give it any attempt but he hasn't been beaten into willingness to do anything yet.

But he's not going to say no to those terms, even if he can't actually abide by them.]

I understand.
awakenerd: (180)

[personal profile] awakenerd 2018-09-22 06:58 am (UTC)(link)
....

[Cooperate or it's back to feeling like he's getting murdered. It takes a long time to drag the words out past the shame and humiliation, but in a very small voice he manages:]

It feels good.
awakenerd: (134)

[personal profile] awakenerd 2018-09-22 07:23 am (UTC)(link)
It is, actually.

[It's really hard to say, in fact! It feels soul crushing. Not because it's true, though his body betraying him doesn't help. But just cooperating in his own humiliation sucks.]
awakenerd: (Hidden)

[personal profile] awakenerd 2018-09-22 07:41 am (UTC)(link)
[It's horribly vulnerable being naked and tied up under someone who doesn't see him as anything but a thing to train for money. It's seriously dehumanizing.

Worse is the way that feels good anyway, makes him whimper and arch under the touch.]

I...

[He doesn't know if he can do this, if he can try to play along. He wants to apologize to Gaius really, for trying to give him good advice he knows he can't really follow.]

[personal profile] awakenerd 2018-09-22 07:54 am (UTC)(link)
[Caught between being unable to beg for it and unable to ask for it to stop and get pain again, Ream just starts crying.

It feels good, yes. But he's genuinely miserable.]

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