PSLS BECAUSE GAY

[filetofish]

[no icons, many SPOILERS for trails of cold steel/sen no kiseki. there's also a lot of gross shit so watch your step.]

Comments

[filetofish]

I'm going to.

[He is. He's going to try as hard as he can. He's just... scared. And frustrated, and angry too. He's keeping his arm over his face just so Rean can't see all those feelings spilling out.]

I just don't want to waste time not getting along with you.

[awakenerd]

[He's reaching out to gently move that arm.]

No time we spend together is wasted. But I don't want to spend my energy being mad when we have other more important things to deal with. You've been keeping this to yourself so long, you've probably been freaked out enough that nothing I say compares.

I just... don't lie to me anymore.

[filetofish]

[Noooo don't look at his pathetic face! If Rean's going to move his arm Crow's just going to roll over and hide his face in the pillow.]

Fine. I won't.

[He'll try, anyway. Truth isn't exactly his strong suit, but he knows it's important to Rean, so...]

[awakenerd]

Crow.

[He tries to tilt Crow's face towards him.]

Hey. Don't hide from me.

[filetofish]

[Crow makes a disgruntled noise, but he doesn't fight Rean. He just looks at him with a troubled expression, not at all sure how to engage right now. He knows he needs to believe in Rean, but Crow's feeling pretty miserable. He doesn't want to show that though, because he's hurt Rean already and the best he thinks he can do for him is not let this drag him down too much. If he looks unhappy, he's just putting more stress on Rean, but if he lies he's also putting stress on Rean, so what does he do?]

Rean... I trust you.

[To fix this, that is. He does, at least in the part of his heart that isn't pounding at the proverbial walls and screaming.]

I swear I'm not going to lie to you anymore, okay? I'm just... mad.

[awakenerd]

Okay. Talk to me?

[If Crow's mad or upset or whatever, he wants to be there to listen, to support him, he wants this relationship to work, long-term, forever kind of work. That means he absolutely can't let Crow die, for one, but also he needs to get Crow to open up to him more.]

[filetofish]

Mnnngh.

[He doesn't wanna!! Goddess being honest is hard. It sucks.]

It's annoying. Those assholes are gone and they're still fucking with me. I'm not even fighting anymore! I just wanted to be left alone to live how I want.

[awakenerd]

Yeah. Me too. But this isn't going to stop either of us, right?

[filetofish]

...Right.

[Yeah. He's got to keep moving, like always. It's just rough, right now. He's a lot more afraid of dying than he used to be.]

But I still want to kill them a thousand times.

[awakenerd]

Mm.

[He can't blame Crow really. He's going to run his fingers through Crow's hair.]

I can't say I'm not mad too.

[filetofish]

If-- [wait no ifs allowed] When I'm better we should do something big. No more lazy time.

[Lazy for Crow anyway. He's been at a crossroads in his life, but if he doesn't die he doesn't want to regret anything.]

[awakenerd]

Yeah. Any ideas what?

[He's all for Crow moving forward with his life. He wants it more than anything, except Crow living, that's definitely the very number one priority.]

[filetofish]

Dunno. Start a casino or something?

[Crow's hobbies have not changed one bit.]

[awakenerd]

Don't start a casino. I'm going to get married to you just to divorce you if you do.

[It's a joke but also like, something he's been thinking about a lot, maybe not the way to let that slip. But it's kind of a stressful day?]

[filetofish]

Ooh, you wanna get married now?

[Crow's taking the mention more seriously than he's making it look, but it's fun to tease Rean, especially when they're feeling so stressed.]

[awakenerd]

I... Yes.

[He looks at Crow, serious.]

I mean, I'd like to. If you want to think about it, I was going to bring it up eventually anyway.

[filetofish]

--Eh.

[He should have expected that kind of seriousness, but it still throws off his teasing groove. He's quickly turning red now.]

You... You have terrible timing.

[awakenerd]

Sorry... I should have brought it up better... But I am serious. I want to spend my life with you.

[So you can't just... Die on him. Again.]

[filetofish]

Yeah, okay.

[He's not disagreeing, he's just embarrassed. He's also sitting up properly again -- or trying to. He feels a little dizzy again when he does, but he doesn't actually faint so he's fine.]

Uh... I'm not sure I can get up, so come here.

[He wanted to climb on Rean but he can't right now?? So he just reaches for him instead. Come let Crow cuddle you, Rean!]

[awakenerd]

[Yeah fine he'll climb in wuth Crow and wrap his arms around him. Honestly he's so scared of losing him, but he's determined that that won't happen so he's not going to let that get to him.]

[filetofish]

[Good, nice. He's just going to hug Rean tight and kiss his neck, more gentle than seductive. He just wants to be close right now.]

I did say I wouldn't run off on you again. So I'll do my best to keep that promise.

[awakenerd]

[He breathes against Crow's hair.]

The more things happen the more scared I am to let you out of my sight. I want to tie you to me forever, Crow. You can't break that promise now.

[filetofish]

Haha... I've really been a pain, haven't I?

[But he's Rean's pain, and Rean's his everything, so... They'll be okay. It was stupid to think they wouldn't.]

You can tie me down all you want, as soon as we get the doctor's OK.

[Y'know, with marriage. Or other things.]

[awakenerd]

You're the biggest pain.

[But Crow is HIS pain. He tightens his arms.]

If you say that I definitely won't be able to stop myself.

[From tying Crow down a few different ways.]

[filetofish]

Who says I want you to?