filetofish | PSLS BECAUSE GAY

Yeah, sure.

[He deserves about a hundred ass kickings honestly, but he's just going to let Rean do what he wants. At this point Crow's ready to do anything Rean asks him to, if it'll make up for this even a little.]

You need to rest for now. I'll have to go get us some food.

Don't go.

[It's said ragged and fast, dragged out of him from the visceral panic of being left alone. He doesn't even think about the words, doesn't have time to, they're just a reaction. He's scared of being alone. Crow leaving is really not a good experience for him at this point.]

I'm not going to let you starve, Rean.

[He knows how much Rean hasn't eaten and it's not good. He desperately needs to get something in his stomach.]

I...

[He wants to beg Crow not to go. He's terrified of it on a level he can't control. Crow going is never ever good. He takes a breath. Another. But he's shaking.

He's messed up, he's really really messed up and he can feel it in how he wants to cry just at the idea of letting Crow go. He can't coast on the happy relief forever, and the rest is seeping in.]

Okay.

[Is what he says, face hidden as his arms drop away from Crow in an effort of will that makes him want to sob.]

I'll make it as fast as I can.

[He ruffles Rean's hair, as comforting as he can be without letting Rean cling to him.

He can see Rean really doesn't like this, but it's a matter of survival. He can't make up for anything if Rean dies, so he's slipping out of the cabin and into the woods. He takes what help he can from Ordine's senses but it still takes him nearly an hour to return, with his coat made into a makeshift bag full of whatever edible plants he could find.]

Still alive?

[Fortunately for Rean he's too exhausted and hungry to stay wired and awake and scared in his loneliness. He manages that for about five minutes before just passing out.

He's still passed out when Crow gets back but he's breathing so there's that.]

[Well, as long as he's alive. Crow is a bad friend. A bad friend who's going to wake Rean up by shoving a wild onion in his mouth.]

[He makes a muffled confused noise but... Actually starts eating the raw onion sort of ravenously as soon as his body registers food. He's had the foul taste of blood in his mouth for a while now, raw onion isn't even as bad as that.]

Uh.

[Seriously?! Rean's some kind of food grinder or something.

...Crow's going to just keep shoving vegetables at him.]

Eat up?

[He's hungry, okay. He sits up and like, tries to take the vegetables, he can feed himself? He's really really hungry though.]

Y-you don't have to feed me by hand.

You sure?

[It was kind of funny though. He's shoving a tomato in Rean's mouth now. Because he can.]

[He jerks back, oh god why, it's so bitter.]

Eat your vegetables~ ♡

[Goodbye Rean Schwarzer.]

[He is gonna die. But Crow is Crow so right now he can't even be mad. But he has to at least pretend like he isn't about to cry from a lot of emotions.]

You're such a jerk...

That's true. I need to find you some not-jerks as soon as possible.

[Because why would Rean want Crow around if he has options?]

[It's like Crow hasn't been paying attention to Rean the last few weeks?? He Shoves some berries in his mouth and tries to remember what chewing is. The more he eats the less numb he feels but that also means his hands and his face and his neck hurt and everything else aches unbearably.]

Yeah. Everyone's going to be pretty excited to have you back.

[He has been trying to ignore Rean very pointedly the last few weeks!! He also kind of assumes that when Rean's more himself he'll change his mind. Crow's a spiteful person. It's hard to understand Rean's nigh-infinite forgiveness.]

...You really think I'm going back?

[Well. It's not like he's got anywhere else to go, now. This is what happens when you punch a duke. But he just can't imagine rejoining Class VII after all this.]

I'll drag you back if I have to.

[Which is not very threatening from a guy who is half starved and already flopping over. He's exhausted. And he's starting to feel it again, the cold, the shaking, the crawling under his skin.

He's clinging to trying to look normal, to having Crow here. He doesn't want to look away from Crow. What if he's left alone again?

He also knows Crow has seen him at his worst but right now the idea of falling apart is dreadful and humiliating. It should be better. He should be better. Everything should be better, now. And in a way it is, Crow's stopped things, but his body is already pretty messed up. He's reaching out, to catch Crow's wrist even while he has to let his eyes close against the spinning of the room.]

Don't... Don't go anywhere.

[Don't leave him alone again. Even if right now he also wishes Crow couldn't see him.]

Edited 2018-07-31 19:16 (UTC)

I'm not, for now.

[He'll have to go soon enough. At least as long as it takes to get better supplies. Crow'd rather not see Rean's face get infected.]

Get some sleep.

[He doesn't NEED his face. He needs company!!!

He's passing out again though, which is a mercy because otherwise he'd just go throw up and start scratching his skin off. But exhaustion is on everyone's side right now, dragging Rean down out of consciousness.]

[Crow uses the spare time to dig through his things and pull out whatever medicine he's got. He also shreds his coat into strips, for lack of bandages. It'll do. He's made a fire and is soaking it all in hot water when Rean wakes up.]

[He wakes up feeling even worse. The relief of being out of day lab and the numbness from starving have both worn off a bit. The amount of pain he's in is... A lot. He tries not to make a noise but his breathing goes from deep sleep to shallow and hitched before he even pushes himself upright.

His eyes sting seeing Crow still with him, though the pain is really not helping the urge to cry either.]

You're still here.

[Getting rescued wasn't all just a nice dream. This is real. He really might cry.]

Yup. For better or for worse.

[Worse. It's for worse. This has all only happened because of Crow. He wishes he could undo it, but he can't, so here he is.]

You can tell me how you're feeling. I'd rather not give you more drugs, but if going cold turkey is too much we'll figure it out.

[Yeah he's going to start crying.]

Come here?

[It's not demanding because it's a very uncertain request, but Crow is way too far away and Rean doesn't want to move much. Everything hurts a lot and the idea that he could have more drugs is terribly tempting but also viscerally horrifying. He doesn't want to be out of his mind, but he doesn't know if he can stand the way his body deals with the hallucinations when they come back. And they will, he's sure.

It's just a lot and he wants human contact before he goes crazy and starts thinking Crow is a hallucination from loneliness too. Unless he's already crazy and Crow actually isn't real and anyway Rean's just fine.]

Yeah, sure.

[He gets up and comes over to Rean, sitting and patting his head. He has every intention of fucking off as soon as Rean's somewhere safe but for now he'll do whatever he can to mitigate the damage he's caused.]

I'm right here.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject