filetofish | PSLS BECAUSE GAY

[Crow uses the spare time to dig through his things and pull out whatever medicine he's got. He also shreds his coat into strips, for lack of bandages. It'll do. He's made a fire and is soaking it all in hot water when Rean wakes up.]

[He wakes up feeling even worse. The relief of being out of day lab and the numbness from starving have both worn off a bit. The amount of pain he's in is... A lot. He tries not to make a noise but his breathing goes from deep sleep to shallow and hitched before he even pushes himself upright.

His eyes sting seeing Crow still with him, though the pain is really not helping the urge to cry either.]

You're still here.

[Getting rescued wasn't all just a nice dream. This is real. He really might cry.]

Yup. For better or for worse.

[Worse. It's for worse. This has all only happened because of Crow. He wishes he could undo it, but he can't, so here he is.]

You can tell me how you're feeling. I'd rather not give you more drugs, but if going cold turkey is too much we'll figure it out.

[Yeah he's going to start crying.]

Come here?

[It's not demanding because it's a very uncertain request, but Crow is way too far away and Rean doesn't want to move much. Everything hurts a lot and the idea that he could have more drugs is terribly tempting but also viscerally horrifying. He doesn't want to be out of his mind, but he doesn't know if he can stand the way his body deals with the hallucinations when they come back. And they will, he's sure.

It's just a lot and he wants human contact before he goes crazy and starts thinking Crow is a hallucination from loneliness too. Unless he's already crazy and Crow actually isn't real and anyway Rean's just fine.]

Yeah, sure.

[He gets up and comes over to Rean, sitting and patting his head. He has every intention of fucking off as soon as Rean's somewhere safe but for now he'll do whatever he can to mitigate the damage he's caused.]

I'm right here.

[Don't leave him!!! That meant forever!

For now he's dropping his face against Crow's shoulder and trying not to hiss when even that hurts. He chokes out a kind of laugh.]

Sorry I'm not in great shape right now.

[As if Crow had nothing to do with it.]

Don't apologize for something that's my fault.

[It's just too sad.]

You oughta be pissed off.

Can I be pissed off later? It hurts too much right now.

[He actually doesn't want to be mad at Crow at all. He still thinks if he'd found a way out early he's have saved them both a lot of trouble, but that's water under the bridge, he's not going to dwell on it as long as Crow is convincingly not a hallucination.]

Yeah, sure. ...Hopefully it'll stop eventually.

[No one actually told him. He was just to oversee and take notes, and the researchers would do the rest.]

Mm.

[He hopes so too. He only has so much skin too claw off.]

When I've got these bandages clean and dry you're going to have to let me fix you up. I'm not sure how much I can do to prevent scarring but I'm not gonna let your whole face fall off.

[See this sad attempt at a smile? No because Rean's face is hidden but that's okay. It's a pathetic face and not as reassuring as the continued gentle headpats.]

[Not like Rean isn't used to hideous scars he'll just look more manly. He can hear Crow's sad voice, that smile sure can't hide any sadness.]

Maybe I'll end up looking cool.

The face you already have suits you better.

[It's soft. Gentle. Crow loves it and that's so painful he just kinda wants to cut his own heart out.]

Does that mean you won't date me if I get scars?

[Look he remembers telling Crow he loves him. And he is kind of messed up. But he has feelings? He's trying to make this lighter but he kind of means it.]

I-- what? What kind of question is that?!

Haha... I figured it would be a no, anyway.

[Because this was the best time to ask someone out right? Anyway he's losing his mind you can't hold him accountable for his timing.]

It's not--

[...Well. It is a no, but...]

It's not because of scars. That's stupid.

Okay.

[It's not that he doesn't believe Crow. In fact, he probably believes him too easily? Just accepting that because, well, because Crow said it and he believes him.]

[That's kind of worse. The last thing Crow deserves is to be trusted ever again.

He can't do this. He just... can't. So he's letting go of Rean and crossing the room in desperate need of space.]

You should go back to sleep.

Crow...

[Goddess no don't... Leave him like this?]

I'm sorry?

[What the fuck did he do how does he get Crow to come back he's panicking here.]

D-don't go.

I'm not going anywhere. I'm just... finishing the bandages.

[Right. Taking them off the fire and out of the water and hanging them to dry.]

[don'tleavehim]

Okay...

[Not okay.]

[Yes don't argue.]

You should sleep through as much withdrawal as you can, if you don't want to wean yourself off the stuff.

I...

[He doesn't think he can, it literally hurts too much. But he doesn't want to say anything else to drive Crow away so he curls up tighter, eyes just on him.]

I'll try.

[He can try to ignore the crawling under his skin if he just watches Crow, right?]

Good.

[He can feel Rean's eyes on him but he won't look back. He just keeps working -- on bandages, on making the place more livable. He hopes Rean will just pass out if ignored long enough.]

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