PSLS BECAUSE GAY

[filetofish]

[no icons, many SPOILERS for trails of cold steel/sen no kiseki. there's also a lot of gross shit so watch your step.]

Comments

[filetofish]

You sure?

[It was kind of funny though. He's shoving a tomato in Rean's mouth now. Because he can.]

[awakenerd]

[He jerks back, oh god why, it's so bitter.]

[filetofish]

Eat your vegetables~ ♡

[Goodbye Rean Schwarzer.]

[awakenerd]

[He is gonna die. But Crow is Crow so right now he can't even be mad. But he has to at least pretend like he isn't about to cry from a lot of emotions.]

You're such a jerk...

[filetofish]

That's true. I need to find you some not-jerks as soon as possible.

[Because why would Rean want Crow around if he has options?]

[awakenerd]

[It's like Crow hasn't been paying attention to Rean the last few weeks?? He Shoves some berries in his mouth and tries to remember what chewing is. The more he eats the less numb he feels but that also means his hands and his face and his neck hurt and everything else aches unbearably.]

Yeah. Everyone's going to be pretty excited to have you back.

[filetofish]

[He has been trying to ignore Rean very pointedly the last few weeks!! He also kind of assumes that when Rean's more himself he'll change his mind. Crow's a spiteful person. It's hard to understand Rean's nigh-infinite forgiveness.]

...You really think I'm going back?

[Well. It's not like he's got anywhere else to go, now. This is what happens when you punch a duke. But he just can't imagine rejoining Class VII after all this.]

[awakenerd]

I'll drag you back if I have to.

[Which is not very threatening from a guy who is half starved and already flopping over. He's exhausted. And he's starting to feel it again, the cold, the shaking, the crawling under his skin.

He's clinging to trying to look normal, to having Crow here. He doesn't want to look away from Crow. What if he's left alone again?

He also knows Crow has seen him at his worst but right now the idea of falling apart is dreadful and humiliating. It should be better. He should be better. Everything should be better, now. And in a way it is, Crow's stopped things, but his body is already pretty messed up. He's reaching out, to catch Crow's wrist even while he has to let his eyes close against the spinning of the room.]

Don't... Don't go anywhere.

[Don't leave him alone again. Even if right now he also wishes Crow couldn't see him.]

[filetofish]

I'm not, for now.

[He'll have to go soon enough. At least as long as it takes to get better supplies. Crow'd rather not see Rean's face get infected.]

Get some sleep.

[awakenerd]

[He doesn't NEED his face. He needs company!!!

He's passing out again though, which is a mercy because otherwise he'd just go throw up and start scratching his skin off. But exhaustion is on everyone's side right now, dragging Rean down out of consciousness.]

[filetofish]

[Crow uses the spare time to dig through his things and pull out whatever medicine he's got. He also shreds his coat into strips, for lack of bandages. It'll do. He's made a fire and is soaking it all in hot water when Rean wakes up.]

[awakenerd]

[He wakes up feeling even worse. The relief of being out of day lab and the numbness from starving have both worn off a bit. The amount of pain he's in is... A lot. He tries not to make a noise but his breathing goes from deep sleep to shallow and hitched before he even pushes himself upright.

His eyes sting seeing Crow still with him, though the pain is really not helping the urge to cry either.]

You're still here.

[Getting rescued wasn't all just a nice dream. This is real. He really might cry.]

[filetofish]

Yup. For better or for worse.

[Worse. It's for worse. This has all only happened because of Crow. He wishes he could undo it, but he can't, so here he is.]

You can tell me how you're feeling. I'd rather not give you more drugs, but if going cold turkey is too much we'll figure it out.

[awakenerd]

[Yeah he's going to start crying.]

Come here?

[It's not demanding because it's a very uncertain request, but Crow is way too far away and Rean doesn't want to move much. Everything hurts a lot and the idea that he could have more drugs is terribly tempting but also viscerally horrifying. He doesn't want to be out of his mind, but he doesn't know if he can stand the way his body deals with the hallucinations when they come back. And they will, he's sure.

It's just a lot and he wants human contact before he goes crazy and starts thinking Crow is a hallucination from loneliness too. Unless he's already crazy and Crow actually isn't real and anyway Rean's just fine.]

[filetofish]

Yeah, sure.

[He gets up and comes over to Rean, sitting and patting his head. He has every intention of fucking off as soon as Rean's somewhere safe but for now he'll do whatever he can to mitigate the damage he's caused.]

I'm right here.

[awakenerd]

[Don't leave him!!! That meant forever!

For now he's dropping his face against Crow's shoulder and trying not to hiss when even that hurts. He chokes out a kind of laugh.]

Sorry I'm not in great shape right now.

[As if Crow had nothing to do with it.]

[filetofish]

Don't apologize for something that's my fault.

[It's just too sad.]

You oughta be pissed off.

[awakenerd]

Can I be pissed off later? It hurts too much right now.

[He actually doesn't want to be mad at Crow at all. He still thinks if he'd found a way out early he's have saved them both a lot of trouble, but that's water under the bridge, he's not going to dwell on it as long as Crow is convincingly not a hallucination.]

[filetofish]

Yeah, sure. ...Hopefully it'll stop eventually.

[No one actually told him. He was just to oversee and take notes, and the researchers would do the rest.]

[awakenerd]

Mm.

[He hopes so too. He only has so much skin too claw off.]

[filetofish]

When I've got these bandages clean and dry you're going to have to let me fix you up. I'm not sure how much I can do to prevent scarring but I'm not gonna let your whole face fall off.

[See this sad attempt at a smile? No because Rean's face is hidden but that's okay. It's a pathetic face and not as reassuring as the continued gentle headpats.]

[awakenerd]

[Not like Rean isn't used to hideous scars he'll just look more manly. He can hear Crow's sad voice, that smile sure can't hide any sadness.]

Maybe I'll end up looking cool.

[filetofish]

The face you already have suits you better.

[It's soft. Gentle. Crow loves it and that's so painful he just kinda wants to cut his own heart out.]

[awakenerd]

Does that mean you won't date me if I get scars?

[Look he remembers telling Crow he loves him. And he is kind of messed up. But he has feelings? He's trying to make this lighter but he kind of means it.]

[filetofish]

I-- what? What kind of question is that?!