filetofish | PSLS BECAUSE GAY

[Why does he like this dumb gay. He leans down and kisses Crow gently, even though he sighs first, because Crow!!! But he likes kissing Crow, he can't deny that.]

[It's a mystery, Rean. But he's really happy to get that kiss, regardless of how it may have seemed over the past week. Kissing Rean calms the unsteady feeling inside of him a little.

Now he's a content burrito. But there's something he really needs to say.]

Hey, Rean... I'm sorry for taking off on you.

Yeah, I know.

[He's not dumb, mostly, it's obvious Crow didn't do it meaning to upset him. He's convinced, always has been, that Crow is a good guy. Just kind of a messed up one.]

But thanks.

[Because he doesn't want to dismiss the sincerity.]

Yeah.

["Kind of" is an understatement. But it was important to say he's sorry, even if Rean already knew. There are too many things he almost never got the chance to say. He'd be an idiot if he left that up to chance this time around.]

...I love you, too. Always have, always will. Even when I'm being a dumbass. Don't ever let me tell you otherwise, got it?

[Oh. He goes a little red with pleasure, looking down at Crow and feeling his heart flutter. He really does love this man, as frustrating as Crow can be. He drops his forehead to Crow's, smiling with absolute fondness.]

You dumbass. If that's how you feel, stop running from me all the time.

[He exhales, meeting Crow's eyes.]

I love you too, you know.

Ah...

[God how does he respond to that? He's the one who said it first, and it's not like Rean hasn't said he loves him before, but this time it's a little more intimate and thus more embarrassing. Crow's not as good at cheesy as Rean, so he can't think of anything particularly suave to say. He's also still blanket-trapped, so he can't put his arms around Rean and kiss him stupid. But maybe that's for the best, because he'd have nothing coherent to say if that happened.

For now he'll just stare into Rean's eyes, flushed and deeply in love.]

You have no idea how important that is.

[He lines this, this soft intimacy with Crow vulnerable and trapped beneath him, it's nice, it feels secure and perfect.]

I wouldn't hearing about it.

[Gently teasing. He won't make Crow spoil all his feelings, but he sure wouldn't protest on hearing mushy things.]

That's on a deeper layer of the Crow mystery cake.

[No too embarrassing. He's said enough! He's also wiggling his hands free just enough to poke Rean in the cheeks.]

Maybe one day.

I'll get you to tell me one day.

[He says with easy confidence, turning to kiss those offending fingers.]

I'm sure you will.

[Who allowed Rean to do the cute teasing? Crow might die in that cocoon. He's certainly turning redder.]

You also have no idea how frustratingly hot you are.

[Turn it on Rean. That is the key. Crow can't just let himself be the one off-balance here.]

[As flattering as that is, and it does make him turn red, Crow is much less impressive and suave when a blanket burrito that Rean is laying on. So he just kind of smirks triumphantly.]

At least I can do something to frustrate you, it's only fair.

Uggghhhhh!!

[He hates Rean. That is the opposite of the truth but he hates Rean.]

I'm being tortured!

Oh no, whatever will you do?

[Again the dry amused sarcasm of am unrepentant Rean.]

Pine until I wither away, obviously.

[Also, wiggle in his cocoon again.]

Or just take my lewd thoughts with me to the bath.

Yeah, but how are you going to reach the bath when I'm using you as a pillow?

[He's definitely blushing but Crow isn't getting away that easy.]

You can lay there but you'll just have to know what I'm thinking about in here the whole time. I could tell you that in detail...

[He's trying so hard to win here. It's a real battle.]

Sure, tell me all about it.

[So Rean says, but he's pulling the pillow over Crow's face to muffle him again.]

[You're going to suffocate him Rean!! But he's taking the challenge and the pillow cannot completely muffle him very loudly and graphically explaining his dirty fantasies. There's a lot. Most of them involve Crow turning Rean into jelly but some of them are decidedly M. Catch him, Rean. Sexually.

If he's going to die he's going out in a blaze of thirsty glory. He's not going to leave a single doubt in Rean's mind about that one.]

[It's not that he's not making mental notes, he definitely is, but also, that's a lot for a poor boy who is embarrassed just reading smut.

He finally rolls off Crow and gently kicks him off the bed.]

Okay okay you made your point. Go away.

[He yelps when Rean pushes him off the bed, unable to catch himself when he's wrapped up in blankets. There's a big thud as Crow hits the floor, and then a lot of shuffling as he untangles himself. He's bright red in the face when he does -- he was trying to embarrass Rean but it was sort of a double-edged sword. He didn't really need to take his lewd thoughts out of the room but he sure does now.]

Oh, I'm gonna.

[He climbs to his feet feeling a little weak-kneed, and heads towards the bathroom. He stops at the door though, to turn and give Rean the most shiteating grin he can, and a cheeky little wave.]

Think fondly of me while I'm gone~

[Bye Rean you're on your own with those mental images now.]

[Why did he let Crow take the bathroom?? Shit. Tactical error. And now, after Crow's very graphic descriptions, he's just going to be thinking of what Crow is going to be doing in there...

He flops back with a defeated groan, pulling the pillow over his face. Maybe he can will his own boner away with meditation or something.

Except instead of clearing his mind and focusing his breath his mind keeps wandering back to those fantasies Crow shared, sure the ones with Crow taking the more active role sounded nice but he gets the feeling the ones where Rean's in charge are the ones Crow is really invested in. Or maybe that's just Rean? He can't tell if it's his bias talking or not.

He'll never know if he doesn't ask though.

So he rolls off the bed and approaches the door, knocking loudly enough to get Crow's attention. He doesn't care if he's interrupting! His own arousal is Crow's fault and since he can't take care of that right now Crow can deal with being questioned.]

Hey. Which of those things you said are you thinking about right now? Answer honestly.

[He was actually trying to be quiet, so there's not much noise until Rean knocks. Then there's a startled noise, strangled into an undignified squeak, and a splash as he jumps a little.]

Are you kidding me?!

[His voice is high and tight with surprise and fluster. Why does Rean have to be like this? Who just interrupts a guy's personal time to ask embarrassing questions?!]

[Rean does. And he's crossing his arms trying not to imagine what Crow looks like right now, just leaning on the wall next to the door as he talks through it.]

I'm not kidding. I want to know what you're actually thinking about. I don't really have any experience so none of my fantasies are as elaborate as yours, and I don't know what I actually like. But I figure... I'll learn with you, and it's not a bad place to start, thinking about and I guess eventually doing the things you're really into, until I figure out what I really like, and then we can do both.

...You're so pure-hearted I don't know how you're alive.

[Crow is definitely not going to survive this relationship. But for now he's leaning back in the tub, resting his head against the back of it, closing his eyes, and trying to breathe.

It's honestly gonna be really hard to answer that while keeping his hands above water but he assumes that's what Rean would prefer so he's going to try. He'll just have to curl his fingers along the edges and hold them there.

This is embarrassing but when Rean's so earnest how can Crow reject him?]

But, fine. Okay... I'm thinking about you. Looking up at you and not seeing anything else, or feeling anything else. Just you all over me, and knowing I can't run from it. If I try you hold me til I can't even think about it. You won't let me move and I don't want you to. I feel caught and it makes everything better. You fucking me, and leaving marks, so I know I'm yours and you won't let go. It feels... secure, somehow. More real.

[It's easier to keep going once he starts, but it's harder to hold still. His fingers clench til his knuckles go white and his voice is at once heavy and breathless. He was being purposefully crude before, but this is a lot more honest, and he's a lot more wrapped up in it.]

[Rean isn't sure what about this is pure at all, actually? But he doesn't ask, listening and feeling his cheeks heat and his pants get uncomfortably tight until he has to press his face to the door and try to cool his skin down with the smooth wood.

He wants to go right in there and leave marks on Crow right now. But he isn't sure if the timing is right, he isn't sure what the right timing IS, actually, which is why they haven't done anything but make out and cuddle so far. He doesn't want to rush.

Reminding himself he doesn't want to rush is the only thing that keeps him from asking Crow if he can come in, and after a deep breath, he manages in a fairly steady voice:]

Okay. That sounds... Really nice. I'd like to do that, when we're ready. Thank you. Um. Is there anything else?

[While he's thinking of things to mentally prepare for and study, he might as well make a proper list. And honestly there's just something nice about how erotic it is to know Crow is naked and wet on the other side of this door, and yet opening up to Rean about his sexual fantasies. It's the opening up that's more exciting than anything, more appealing than the thought of any physical act(and yeah those thoughts ARE super nice), the knowledge of Crow being honest and vulnerable with him is just intoxicating.]

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