[Please End] Crow Armbrust ([personal profile] filetofish) wrote2018-04-27 01:15 am

PSLS BECAUSE GAY

[no icons, many SPOILERS for trails of cold steel/sen no kiseki. there's also a lot of gross shit so watch your step.]

[personal profile] reanbeanmachine 2018-06-02 05:53 am (UTC)(link)
[There's a little strangled laugh from Rean. He can't say that's not fair, he also can't say Crow doesn't deserve this bullying fully.

But...]

Okay.

[His voice is soft and sincere and terribly fond, with just a little huskiness so Crow doesn't think this isn't getting to Rean, too.]

Next time I ask, I'll follow through.

[He's smiling at the door, feeling strangely calmer having given that promise. It means he's going to ask again. It also means he's committed himself to actually taking this further physically, and though he knows he's not quite ready now, he intends to be soon, he's going to make sure of it. It also means he's got some embarrassing research to do but at least he knows where to go for resources.]

[personal profile] reanbeanmachine 2018-06-02 06:14 am (UTC)(link)
[What Crow hears on the other side of the door is distinctly not Rean leaving. Instead it sounds like he's sitting down, which he is.]

I don't want to.

[It's gentle, amused even, but his next words are more serious and sincere.]

I'd like to stay and listen to you. I want to hear you, I want you to talk to me. Honestly Crow, I don't think I've ever been more turned on in my life, but it also feels weird when you aren't near. I can't help being afraid when you're not in eyesight, like you'll just vanish again. But when you're vulnerable like this, I feel like I can hang on to you.

Do you mind if I stay?

[personal profile] reanbeanmachine 2018-06-02 06:22 am (UTC)(link)
[Sloshing is not quite the response he was hoping for but it's not a no. He waits a second, and then asks worriedly:]

Crow?

[personal profile] reanbeanmachine 2018-06-02 06:48 am (UTC)(link)
You don't have to.

[Rean says it gently.]

Just because I want to be near doesn't mean you can't tell me to give you some space.

[He just... Really really wants to be here. Even if it's a little but like torture in a way.]

[personal profile] reanbeanmachine 2018-06-02 07:19 am (UTC)(link)
[He laughs softly, leaning his head back against the door, staring at the ceiling.]

I'm afraid me being honest to the point of being embarrassing is what you signed up for in dating me, you know.

[personal profile] reanbeanmachine 2018-06-02 11:35 pm (UTC)(link)
I mean, it is embarrassing.

[Rean agrees gently.]

But I don't think it's that out there, when I plan to share my whole life with you.

[Though, well, he looks at his own lap and sighs.]

Yeah, that'd only be fair.

[personal profile] reanbeanmachine 2018-06-02 11:58 pm (UTC)(link)
[He's silent for a long time, trying to think how to word this, finally closing his eyes and leaning his head back against the door. It's not that he's not incredibly embarrassed and dying a little, he is, but also, being sincere and romantic is just his natural comfort zone, so his voice doesn't even sound flustered.]

I told you my fantasies aren't quite as detailed. But... I guess one thing I think about a lot is just... You. What touching you would be like, or what you might sound like when I make you feel good. What expression do you make when you're not being a shithead and are actually just too into it to have your guard up.

I think about it being your hands touching me, not mine, and I think about the way kissing you feels.

[personal profile] reanbeanmachine 2018-06-03 03:04 am (UTC)(link)
Yeah.

[He agrees softly. Because he really wants to see Crow too. Has been wanting to, this whole time. But who knows what kind of can of worms it would open if he went in there right now, feeling as aroused as he does.

On the other hand is it really productive to keep a door and distance between them when he spent a week chasing Crow down only to learn Crow's having an existential crisis?

It seems wrong to stay distant but dangerous to get closer, but he'd always rather take a risk for what he feels is correct than play it safe and have regrets.]

Is it okay if I come in there? I don't want to feel so distant from you.

[Ever, really, but right now especially.]

[personal profile] reanbeanmachine 2018-06-03 05:08 am (UTC)(link)
[Well he has permission. So he's getting up and taking a breath to steady himself before setting his hand on the door and pausing again. It's just a little thing but it feels like a big step, whatever happens when he goes in there is going to matter somehow.

But then he's turning the knob and stepping into the bathroom, approaching the bath with quick, confident steps. He doesn't exactly have a plan, per se, but he knows what he wants to do when he sees Crow naked in the water so he just goes with it.

He kneels by the tub and catches Crow's face in his hands, leaning in to kiss him sweetly, lingering for a bit before pulling away and smiling a Crow in sort of relief. He likes this, being close to Crow, no matter how embarrassed and self conscious he is about the situation.]

Hey. I like this better, how about you?

[personal profile] reanbeanmachine 2018-06-03 05:51 am (UTC)(link)
[Crow is always Crow it seems, and he doesn't mind it too much, pushing Crow's wet hair back from his face.]

Honestly. You even make me chase you into the bath.

[personal profile] reanbeanmachine 2018-06-03 06:16 am (UTC)(link)
Oh no. What will I do. Water, my one weakness.

[He slicks Crow's hair back more, tenderly, despite the amused sarcasm.]

Maybe you would have to come back from the bath, but I like seeing you anyway.

[personal profile] reanbeanmachine 2018-06-03 06:53 am (UTC)(link)
I hate to break it to you but you've never been cool.

[He says it wryly but then cuts that with a smile, leaning his elbows on the edge of the tub.]

I like you better being a big dork anyway.

[personal profile] reanbeanmachine 2018-06-03 07:12 am (UTC)(link)
Your ego doesn't need it.

[He looks long-suffering but also really happy at having his cheeks smashed. Honestly he's so self-conscious of this position but also so happy to be here touching Crow it's difficult.]

Imagine how ridiculous you'd get if I encouraged you.

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