filetofish | PSLS BECAUSE GAY

Yep. Your knight in shining armor, only I'm a fiend underneath.

[Y'know. Cause this is all his fault and he's a monster who might as well die. At least he's talking like himself again.]

I can't say you're safe now, but I can tell you I'll do my best to get you to it.

[He doesn't actually remember how this all happened. He has snippets of impressions but after he lost it is all a haze even more addled than his drugged fugues.

What he is registering is Crow is here, this is not the sterile, terrifying lab, and whatever shape he's in, Crow rescued him.

So he's struggling to sit up only to throw himself on Crow. If Crow doesn't dodge he's getting hugged with whatever strength Rean has in him.]

Whoah, whoah!

[He doesn't dodge but he does complain. He's patting Rean on the back though, awkwardly.]

What's this about? You remember I'm the one who did this to you, right?

[He's absolutely crying against Crow's neck. He's got a lot of emotions and they're all fucked up, but right now is mainly relief. Relief to be out of there, relief to be with Crow.

He's hiccuping a little with the force of his tears. He's so stressed and fucked up and nothing is really okay at all but he's also happy, right now, this instant, he's genuinely happy. There's a lot he's upset about too, and he's not going to be okay for a long time, but that's not stopping him from clinging tighter.]

I know. I'll beat you up later. I'm just [hiccups] I'm glad.

Mm.

[He really doesn't deserve this. He shouldn't ever feel Rean's affection again, but here it is, twisting the knife in his heart. But rather than show it he just sighs, putting on a tired smile and petting Rean's hair.]

Yeah, well. I guess I couldn't follow through after all.

I already knew that.

[He says it tiredly, pretty shaky, still keeping hold of Crow, crying pretty freely.]

Sorry I didn't... figure a way out before you figured it out.

[If he'd managed to escape and drag Crow with him or at least... Do something, he definitely would have saved them both a lot of pain.]

Don't you even start with that.

[God, what does he do with Rean? He feels like he shouldn't be held by him ever, but... well. Rean seems to want it, so Crow will tentatively let himself hug Rean back.]

It's not your fault.

[He leans into the touch. He's been starved for human interaction, affection, anything positive that wasn't drugged euphoria. He tightens his hold on Crow, literally not wanting to let go ever again, even if that's a little crazy.]

I'll just... Owe you an ass-kicking, okay?

[He whispers into Crow's shoulder. He's so tired and at the same time so keyed up, shaking. He hasn't eaten in days and he's dizzy but wired. He knows what his body wants and he's too ashamed to say it. He just wants to enjoy this, right now, having Crow and holding him. He can stubbornly do that much.]

Yeah, sure.

[He deserves about a hundred ass kickings honestly, but he's just going to let Rean do what he wants. At this point Crow's ready to do anything Rean asks him to, if it'll make up for this even a little.]

You need to rest for now. I'll have to go get us some food.

Don't go.

[It's said ragged and fast, dragged out of him from the visceral panic of being left alone. He doesn't even think about the words, doesn't have time to, they're just a reaction. He's scared of being alone. Crow leaving is really not a good experience for him at this point.]

I'm not going to let you starve, Rean.

[He knows how much Rean hasn't eaten and it's not good. He desperately needs to get something in his stomach.]

I...

[He wants to beg Crow not to go. He's terrified of it on a level he can't control. Crow going is never ever good. He takes a breath. Another. But he's shaking.

He's messed up, he's really really messed up and he can feel it in how he wants to cry just at the idea of letting Crow go. He can't coast on the happy relief forever, and the rest is seeping in.]

Okay.

[Is what he says, face hidden as his arms drop away from Crow in an effort of will that makes him want to sob.]

I'll make it as fast as I can.

[He ruffles Rean's hair, as comforting as he can be without letting Rean cling to him.

He can see Rean really doesn't like this, but it's a matter of survival. He can't make up for anything if Rean dies, so he's slipping out of the cabin and into the woods. He takes what help he can from Ordine's senses but it still takes him nearly an hour to return, with his coat made into a makeshift bag full of whatever edible plants he could find.]

Still alive?

[Fortunately for Rean he's too exhausted and hungry to stay wired and awake and scared in his loneliness. He manages that for about five minutes before just passing out.

He's still passed out when Crow gets back but he's breathing so there's that.]

[Well, as long as he's alive. Crow is a bad friend. A bad friend who's going to wake Rean up by shoving a wild onion in his mouth.]

[He makes a muffled confused noise but... Actually starts eating the raw onion sort of ravenously as soon as his body registers food. He's had the foul taste of blood in his mouth for a while now, raw onion isn't even as bad as that.]

Uh.

[Seriously?! Rean's some kind of food grinder or something.

...Crow's going to just keep shoving vegetables at him.]

Eat up?

[He's hungry, okay. He sits up and like, tries to take the vegetables, he can feed himself? He's really really hungry though.]

Y-you don't have to feed me by hand.

You sure?

[It was kind of funny though. He's shoving a tomato in Rean's mouth now. Because he can.]

[He jerks back, oh god why, it's so bitter.]

Eat your vegetables~ ♡

[Goodbye Rean Schwarzer.]

[He is gonna die. But Crow is Crow so right now he can't even be mad. But he has to at least pretend like he isn't about to cry from a lot of emotions.]

You're such a jerk...

That's true. I need to find you some not-jerks as soon as possible.

[Because why would Rean want Crow around if he has options?]

[It's like Crow hasn't been paying attention to Rean the last few weeks?? He Shoves some berries in his mouth and tries to remember what chewing is. The more he eats the less numb he feels but that also means his hands and his face and his neck hurt and everything else aches unbearably.]

Yeah. Everyone's going to be pretty excited to have you back.

[He has been trying to ignore Rean very pointedly the last few weeks!! He also kind of assumes that when Rean's more himself he'll change his mind. Crow's a spiteful person. It's hard to understand Rean's nigh-infinite forgiveness.]

...You really think I'm going back?

[Well. It's not like he's got anywhere else to go, now. This is what happens when you punch a duke. But he just can't imagine rejoining Class VII after all this.]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject